“Desmond,” she said quietly, “I need you to explain something to me. When you said you can’t take her home — did you mean you can’t take her home at all? Ever? Or did you mean something else, and you just said it wrong, in shock?”
He was quiet for a long moment, still holding his own head in both hands.
“I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I looked at her, and for about three seconds, all I could see was Mom’s hospital bed. I said the first thing that came out of my mouth, and I don’t think it came out the way I actually meant it, but I also don’t fully know yet what I did mean by it. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Renee. I’m sorry, Mara. I don’t think I’ve fully grieved Mom the way I thought I had, and apparently it took meeting my own daughter to find that out.”